Product recommendation: Huggies Little Snugglers Diapers (Newborn Size)

Check out this Little Snuggler!

Hospitals are often a great reference point for the products you should use when caring for your baby at home.  But sometimes (usually?) they make decisions based on cost or other factors.  And one instance where we found a superior alternative was with Benjamin's diapers.

He started out with Pampers, but we found that Huggies are superior in sturdiness and softness.  You can feel the difference in quality very easily.  Plus, they helped diminish the inflammation associated with his chronic diaper rash.

My recommendation is to buy 88-packs like the one you'll see in this link to Amazon.com:

https://www.amazon.com/Huggies-Snugglers-Diapers-Newborn-Packaging/dp/B00HJKP6PI/

Do NOT buy the larger packs at places like Sam's Club.  We found out the hard way.  Although it was actually our parents who purchased us these value packs, those Huggies are (very disappointingly) thinner and flimsier!  If you've ever wondered whether "value packs" try to cheat you, the answer is yes.  The cheap Huggies might actually be worse than the Pampers we switched from.  So, make sure you get a regular box.

#5 There seems to be no foolproof treatment for diaper rash.

Benjamin during one of his poutful moments.  See how heartbreaking it is?

Since he was about 1 week old (he's now 10 weeks), poor little Benjamin has been battling diaper rash.  If you're unlucky enough to deal with this problem with your newborn, be ready for a wide variety of medical opinions, internet search results, prescriptions, and over-the-counter-treatments.  It can be a true roller coaster ride of frustration.

Every case is a little different, but ours certainly hasn't been fun, especially for our baby.  For the first few weeks, especially, he was noticeably uncomfortable.  The last thing a parent wants to see is a baby in pain.  And it was obvious that the rash was the cause, because we've always made sure to meet his other needs.  For quite a while, he would scream when wiped and whine much of the day, even while resting.  This improved (once we reached step 9 below), but he still isn't 100%.

Since the redness and swelling first appeared, this is a rundown of our attempts to clear his little butt of its plague:

1) Desitin, because we and the doctors and thought it was a standard yeast issue.  This had little effect.


2) We moved up to maximum strength Desitin (40% zinc oxide).  Unfortunately, this didn't help either.

https://www.amazon.com/Desitin-Diaper-Maximum-Strength-Original/dp/B000056JBU


3) Next on the list was the renowned Triple Paste (12.8% zinc oxide).  We often used Vaseline as well.  For a while, we believed this was working.  Some of the redness seemed to subside.  Sadly, this wasn't the cure, either.

https://www.amazon.com/Triple-Paste-Medicated-Ointment-16-Ounce/dp/B000GCL2B8/


4) After a while, we gave up on these creams.  Our little one had been through so much pain, for about a month at this point, and we figured it must be something other than yeast.  So we visited a clinic and specifically said, from the outset (often a key tactic if you want to get your opinion considered by the physician), that we thought it might be bacterial.  Both the resident and attending took a look and agreed that it might be perianal strep.  The prescription?  Mupirocin.  We left the office thinking we FINALLY had the solution.  Nope.  Within a couple weeks, it was clear that this also wasn't our cure.


5) In the meantime, we tried a couple other over-the-counter remedies...

A&D Ointment: https://www.amazon.com/A-D-Ointment-16-Ounce/dp/B00BH0PP5W/

and

Weleda Calendula cream: https://www.amazon.com/Weleda-Calendula-Diaper-Cream-2-8-Ounce/dp/B000V3MFUY/

It's important to note that I am in NO way knocking the efficacy of these medications or creams...it was just that we needed something to cut to the core of our problem.


6) During this time, we also shifted from newborn Pampers diapers (what he used in the hospital) to softer, less irritating, newborn-sized Huggies.  This had somewhat of a positive effect on his comfort level, by reducing a bit of the inflammation, but it obviously didn't fix everything.

https://www.amazon.com/Huggies-Snugglers-Diapers-Newborn-Packaging/dp/B00HJKP6PI/


7) One additional change we made was to use gauze rather than wipes.  Even in "sensitive" wipes, there are chemicals that can irritate an already-damaged butt.  So we've been ordering stacks of gauze from Amazon, and using 3-4 moistened pieces to wipe him gently during each diaper change.  In our experience, it seems to help quite a bit.  But again, he wasn't absolutely cured.


8) Around the beginning of July (about 5-6 weeks into the fight), we called in to Benjamin's primary care physician and she wrote a script for Nystatin.  So we were back to fighting fungal demons, real or imagined.  Did this finally slay our diaper dragon?  Nope.


9) On our 2-month visit to his doctor's office (7-8 weeks into the fight), we saw a nurse practitioner and got his vaccinations.  She also prescribed some new treatments:

Triamcinolone, a topical steroid for the inflammation.

"Silvadene" (silver sulfadiazine), a topical antibiotic cream.

So far, about ten days since we began this regimen, it seems to have been the most effective.  But that's largely because the steroid reduces the redness.  And if he goes more than 12 hours without some kind of cream, or light application of steroids (which aren't supposed to be used regularly after the first couple days), some redness returns.  He also has some peeling/maceration going on in the most severely affected areas.

TO RECAP....

That's 4 prescriptions, 6 OTC treatments, one diaper change and one wipe change.

Will we EVER fully eradicate his problems?  We pray every day for him.  While we're lucky to have this as the only chronic issue so far for a preemie baby, it's still been devastating and perplexing.

To be continued...

Product recommendation: "HelloBaby" Video Monitor

You'd want to see this face at all times, too.  Even when you have to be in a separate room.

Everyone needs a baby monitor.  They're useful when you want to:

- sleep

- eat

- shower

- do chores

- anything else you can imagine...

...with a baby safely in his or her own room.

Like most parents, cost was a significant consideration for us.  But we still wanted something that would be reliable and have some useful features.

This product has fit our needs perfectly:

https://www.amazon.com/Portable-Baby-Temperature-Monitors-Hello/dp/B01FSOKDTU/

Here's what we like about it:

1) Costs only $86 (as of this post)

2) Video works absolutely great in light or darkness (switches automatically to night vision)

3) Video/audio only kick in when the camera/mic pick up a certain level of sound - which you can adjust

4) You can also adjust the volume you hear on your end.  So if you wish, you can have anything from no sound to deafening baby cries.

5) It tells you the temperature in the baby's room, and we've found it to be pretty accurate

6) Monitor battery charges fairly quickly, and can also be used while plugged in

7) You can connect up to 4 cameras total.  Extras are $40 each, and we haven't had a need for one.  It would be easy to unplug and move the one camera we have.  But if you're lazy, this is nice.

Benjamin as seen on the screen of our monitor.  He's resting comfortably in a sleep chair in his nursery.  The monitor is in night vision mode, with the volume on its lowest audible setting.  "VOX-Lo" means that the monitor won't be triggered to produce audio/visuals unless he makes a decent amount of noise.  This is the best setting when we both want rest, after having just set him down to sleep with a full belly and a freshly-changed diaper.

The only (minor) cons:

1) Camera must be plugged in, and its cord isn't the longest.

2) Its shape doesn't make it particularly easy to attach to anything, so you pretty much have to find a good flat surface that will still allow a clear view of your baby.

We've been able to work around those cons, and are very pleased.  Unless you have the budget to go all-out on a monitor, this is a fantastic option.

Product recommendation: Tommee Tippee pacifiers

Benjamin with his Tommee Tippee pacifier, 

and slightly creepy music emanating from his sleep chair.

As with many products, we've made some pacifier brand switches during our 2+ months caring for little Benjamin.  Initially, it seemed like the Philips AVENT "soothie" pacifiers were best - with the added bonus of looking cute with optional bear faces.

Trust me, it's pretty dang cute to see your baby with one of these: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=62420226

But over time, we found they were too heavy, and easily fell out of Benjamin's mouth.  And a baby who wants a pacifier and doesn't have it is a crying baby!

So far, his favorite is this one, from Tommee Tippee:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00I0M8QTW/

They're light (and therefore stay in Benjamin's mouth).  He seems to love them.  And they're cute.  10/10.

Product recommendation: Medela Pump In Style Advanced

When it comes to breast pumps, Medela is the respected name and the one you'll find in most hospitals.  They're definitely the best around.

It's important to note that with my wife's solid health insurance plan (she works as an OR nurse, for our state's flagship hospital) the starter version of the Medela pump is covered for free.  You would have to pay for additional accessories, but the pump itself was free of charge for us.

So far, she's been very happy with it.  Here's a link to the model: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IJJRVR4/

#4: Breastfeeding can be extraordinarily difficult.

My wife and I are both determined to give Baby Benjamin the best possible care, and that includes breastmilk during his early stages.  However, breastfeeding presents a ton of challenges for new mothers, especially those with preterm babies.

Benjamin may have only been 4 weeks early, but that has still caused extra difficulties due to his diminutive stature and lesser coordination - being a month behind on the developmental curve.

INITIAL STRUGGLES WITH FEEDING

Our first three days were spent in the hospital, and BY FAR the most stressful part of our time was feeding him.  It usually went like this:

1) Marie would try, to no avail, to get him to latch.  All the while, he'd be fussing out of frustration and hunger.  Even with a nipple shield, it was virtually impossible.  His mouth was simply too small.

2) We would resort to the alternative - formula (Similac Neosure 22 - more on that in a later post) administered via syringe.  The goal was actually to attach a narrow feeding tube to the end of the syringe, and put that in the side of the mouth while he was on a nipple.  Again, that usually proved too difficult.

3) A lactation specialist would stop by and try to help.  Most of them were truly wonderful - a couple of the floor nurses and a couple of the lactation specialists really stand out as heroes of Benjamin's first few days.  In the end, we typically resorted to having him suck on a finger while taking food through the small tube from the syringe.

INITIAL STRUGGLES WITH PUMPING

In the meantime, there was all the consternation over breast milk.  Just like the preterm baby itself, milk production sometimes isn't quite ready for the big leagues when the birth happens ahead of schedule.

Marie's first pumping, shortly after birth, went exceptionally well.  We got our hopes up, but the next couple days she was producing so little that we got worried.  If you're in a similar situation, be patient, stay positive, and keep trying.

A couple things that worked for Marie...

1) Manipulation of the breasts, especially when the milk truly came in "full force" on about Day 3.  Her breasts were so swollen and tender at that point.  It was truly excruciating.  Remember when I said we had some heroes of our hospital time?  One of the lactation specialists showed up randomly in the middle of the night, gave her advice and helped her overcome some of the pain.  Thankfully, it passed after 24-36 hours, during which time she used ice, warm water, and massage.

2) Having Benjamin on or near the breast, prior to or during the pumping session.  There is a huge psychological aspect to the whole thing.  Positivity is really key.  When she is stressed, at work or at home, her production is markedly lower.  If you can't have your baby nearby, at least look at pictures on your phone.  Talking to others who've been through it can really help your mindset.  Marie participated in a couple Facebook chats with a local chapter of La Leche League, and found it very informative.

3) This is easier to discuss than to execute, but some of the obvious things like rest, hydration and diet have a huge effect on production as well.  Keep tabs on your physiology and make the necessary adjustments.

SETTLING INTO A ROUTINE

All along, we've fed him approximately every 3 hours.  That's roughly when he starts chirping for it again.  As his demand for volume has increased, Marie has continued to prepare bottles with a 50/50 mixture of her own milk and the Similac formula.  In our first few days in the hospital, he was only getting 20-30 mL per feeding.  As of 2 months, he's getting about 100 mL total.  Although he started small, his weight has progressed nicely.

She tries to pump at least six times per day.  The goal was 7-8 during her six weeks off from work (post-birth), but now that she's back in the OR, she has to settle for two pumping sessions during the workday.  Plus, on average, 1 in the early morning, 1 right before work, and 2 between work and bedtime.  For a total of 6.

I do my best to help by feeding him while she pumps, or feeding him in the middle of the night so she can rest up for a better pumping in the early morning.  While I called it a "routine" in the subheader, every day is its own battle and things change quite a bit from the plan.

I'll update this post with more details, and also expand more on the topic in future posts.  Feel free to comment or even email us with questions!

Pic post #1: Benjamin's First Day

Here are a few cell shots I took from Benjamin's first day (5/17/16).  He was, and is, beautiful.

9:40 AM, shortly after birth, on the examination table

A few seconds later, still crying

9:47 AM.  Fittingly, Benjamin's first calm moment was in his beautiful (and utterly exhausted) mother's arms.  She would kill me for posting this, and I don't blame her.  But his face is so...peekful (as we've come to call it).  I can't help but want to show his face to the world.

11:51 AM, in Grandma Linda's arms

12:50 PM, resting, still in Labor and Delivery.  Our first "favorite" pic of Benjamin.

4:31 PM.  I think we had gotten a Mother/Baby room by this point.  This was probably when we started calling him "Bean" and this particular arrangement a "Bean Burrito."

#3 Every part of childbirth is insane. Made more so by sleep deprivation.

I've always said I'm glad to be a man, because it would be so much harder to be a woman.  Setting aside the sociopolitical aspects, and just talking about the physical issues.  I knew it was difficult.

But because I've never been directly involved in a birth, I didn't understand what any part of labor or delivery was really like.

For starters, I didn't know how bad the administration of the epidural could be.  For my wife, it was horrible and traumatizing because they made errors, and excuses for their errors, along the way.  All I could do was hold her hand and encourage her.

I also had a misconception that actually pushing the baby out was far worse than the contractions.  For my wife, it wasn't that way - the contractions were hell and lasted hours, while the pushing was difficult and lasted about 45 minutes.  Meanwhile, everyone was so exhausted - especially Marie.  She would literally fall asleep between excruciating contractions, and then wake up again in pain every couple minutes.  Any attempts at napping during the night were foiled by constant nurse interruptions anyway.  Her mother and I stayed with her the whole time to comfort her, but there wasn't anything tangible we could do.

Here's a foggy, non-specific timeline of the events...

My wife was admitted for the third and final time in her pregnancy on the afternoon of Monday, May 16th.  The epidural was administered later that evening, and they began the actual induction that night as well.

At about 4 AM on the 17th, they broke her water to speed things along.  All through the night, she was having painful contractions.  She couldn't wait to press her button for more pain meds every 15 minutes.  Marie told me she couldn't imagine going through it without the epidural - even if the injection was an ordeal.

Later that morning, her doctor arrived and suggested that we use a peanut ball to help the process.  Her cervix was totally ready, but Benjamin wasn't moving yet.  And a simple change in position made all the difference.  Almost immediately, Marie felt like she was ready to give birth.

So she started pushing and little by little, the top of our little one's head started to show.  My perception of the size of a baby changed back and forth dramatically throughout the morning.  In my deliriously tired state, with only a small part of his head visible, I began to think we were about to have a baby with a head the size of a racquetball.  Even with a premature baby, this was surprising to me.  But I was wrong again, of course.

While Marie kept trying, I kept talking to her.

"You're doing great."

"I can see even more of his head now."

"You're almost there."

But what helped more than my words was when they brought her a mirror.  Though I'm sure it's difficult to see your "undercarriage" in such disarray, it's very helpful to a woman to be able to actually SEE the progress.  Once she had that extra bit of proof that things were really happening, it seemed more possible.

All of a sudden, at 9:34 AM, he flopped out on the bed.  There was no delay once his head got through - he was just OUT, in an almost gelatinous fashion.

My thoughts, in a rough semblance of chronological order over the span of 3 seconds:

"Oh my God he's MUCH bigger than I thought he was while she was pushing!" (he only weight 4 pounds 11.5 ounces)

"He looks pinkish blue, is that normal?" (he was fine)

"His cord is sort of wrapped around him, is he ok?" (he was fine)

"I guess he's ok, and he has all the right parts!" (thank God)

"Is this really happening?" (yes)

"She's clamping the cord and handing me scissors.  I hope I don't mess this up." (I didn't)

"I can't believe how perfect he is." (he still is)

"I can't believe Marie just did all that for us." (I'm still grateful)

And the craziness doesn't end there.  Because the mother has to be stitched up if she's torn (blood is everywhere), the screaming baby has to be examined and weighed, the mom might finally get to eat something for the first time in 24 hours, you move everyone and everything to another room, and before you know it you're already entering the routine of childcare on NO sleep.

See the next post for some pics during his first couple hours of life.

#2: Take nothing for granted during pregnancy, because anything can happen.

Both my wife and I are truly neurotic, so I wouldn't say we ever get "too relaxed" about anything.  But I don't mean this lesson as a warning not to let something bad happen out of nonchalance.  I simply mean that you shouldn't get too attached to your own visualization of a perfect outcome.  Expecting the worst won't get you much of anywhere, either, so I wouldn't advocate following my own negative example.  Just keep an even keel and be grateful for every small blessing.

Marie's pregnancy started out incredibly well.  She didn't even suffer with morning sickness to the extent that many women do.  All of Benjamin's early checkups went perfectly, and his development was right on track.

But things changed dramatically, and we lived on the emotional equivalent of a razor's edge for the months leading up to his birth.

First, there was the screening that showed Benjamin had a two-vessel cord (also known as single umbilical artery or SUA).  Getting ANY negative news about your baby is shattering.  As soon as you leave the office, you're Googling everything and trying to reassure yourself that the doctors aren't giving you false hope.  In the end, thank God, they were right - most babies with SUA will be ok.  And once they're born, that dumb cord doesn't matter anymore!  If you're the dad, you even get to cut it in half out of spite.  Of course, until Benjamin was born, we weren't sure which outcome we'd be faced with, and it weighed on our minds for quite a while.

To add to our SUA worries, there were pre-term contractions.  On March 11th, three months before his due date (June 13th).  Both of us feel that it was largely due to Marie's work.  She's an OR nurse, which is stressful enough, and she worked a a difficult call case the night of March 10th.  The following night (a Friday), the contractions simply got too alarming to ignore.  We went to the hospital, and they verified that her cervix was only 2 cm.  We had to spend the whole weekend in the Labor and Delivery unit, with poor Marie drugged out on magnesium to keep the contractions away.

We came home, and Marie had to stay off work.  But the concerns didn't end there.  Not only were we flinching every time she had the slightest contraction, but every doctor visit was another scare.  Would her cervix check out ok?  How was Benjamin doing?  Could we get approved for an extension of the bedrest time so she wouldn't have another episode?  It was impossible to relax.

All the while, Benjamin was doing well, for the most part.  His growth did seem to fall a bit off standard pace - probably due to the cord.  And he went into head-down position very early, and stayed there.  That didn't help with contractions...the downward pressure was sending a strong signal to her body to release the baby, and it was far too soon.

With the stress as bad as it was, all we could do was focus on milestones.  We celebrated each day as we got a little bit closer to June 13th, knowing that every extra day in the womb would help Benjamin grow.  But March and April were agonizing.

Once we reached May, our hopes were raised.  We were halfway home (1.5 months early, instead of 3 when the contractions began).  But there was one more battle to fight.

In mid-May, at a regular checkup, we found out that Marie had low amniotic fluid (4.5).  This meant another hospital stay.  But the next morning, after IV administration, it had improved dramatically (8).  We got our hopes up again when they let us go home.

Once home, we made sure that Marie got plenty of water and rest.  Her feet were literally swollen from all the fluids.  But somehow it wasn't enough.  We went back to the doctor on May 16th, and she had very little amniotic fluid.  They would have to induce a month early.

To be continued...

#1: Becoming a dad is an incredible and overwhelming experience.

I know, this goes without saying, but really.  I still can't believe I'm a father.  You might have spent your whole young adult life telling everyone, including yourself, that you wanted to be a parent.  But when it really happens, you have to admit yourself that you had no idea what was coming.  Every time you hear the heartbeat or see an ultrasound picture.  The moment the baby actually arrives.  Every time you look down at your baby's face and see elements of yourself.  Every time they accomplish a first.  Every time you find yourself acting completely differently (perhaps more responsibly) and realize it's because of your baby.

Benjamin Whitfield Starks was born on May 17th, 2016.  The journey to that day wasn't easy for any of us, and caring for him won't be easy, either.  But I wanted to share some of the things I've learned and will continue to learn along the way, partially as a means of keeping myself grounded in gratitude.  I have the most beautiful wife and baby any man could ever ask for.