Both my wife and I are truly neurotic, so I wouldn't say we ever get "too relaxed" about anything. But I don't mean this lesson as a warning not to let something bad happen out of nonchalance. I simply mean that you shouldn't get too attached to your own visualization of a perfect outcome. Expecting the worst won't get you much of anywhere, either, so I wouldn't advocate following my own negative example. Just keep an even keel and be grateful for every small blessing.
Marie's pregnancy started out incredibly well. She didn't even suffer with morning sickness to the extent that many women do. All of Benjamin's early checkups went perfectly, and his development was right on track.
But things changed dramatically, and we lived on the emotional equivalent of a razor's edge for the months leading up to his birth.
First, there was the screening that showed Benjamin had a two-vessel cord (also known as single umbilical artery or SUA). Getting ANY negative news about your baby is shattering. As soon as you leave the office, you're Googling everything and trying to reassure yourself that the doctors aren't giving you false hope. In the end, thank God, they were right - most babies with SUA will be ok. And once they're born, that dumb cord doesn't matter anymore! If you're the dad, you even get to cut it in half out of spite. Of course, until Benjamin was born, we weren't sure which outcome we'd be faced with, and it weighed on our minds for quite a while.
To add to our SUA worries, there were pre-term contractions. On March 11th, three months before his due date (June 13th). Both of us feel that it was largely due to Marie's work. She's an OR nurse, which is stressful enough, and she worked a a difficult call case the night of March 10th. The following night (a Friday), the contractions simply got too alarming to ignore. We went to the hospital, and they verified that her cervix was only 2 cm. We had to spend the whole weekend in the Labor and Delivery unit, with poor Marie drugged out on magnesium to keep the contractions away.
We came home, and Marie had to stay off work. But the concerns didn't end there. Not only were we flinching every time she had the slightest contraction, but every doctor visit was another scare. Would her cervix check out ok? How was Benjamin doing? Could we get approved for an extension of the bedrest time so she wouldn't have another episode? It was impossible to relax.
All the while, Benjamin was doing well, for the most part. His growth did seem to fall a bit off standard pace - probably due to the cord. And he went into head-down position very early, and stayed there. That didn't help with contractions...the downward pressure was sending a strong signal to her body to release the baby, and it was far too soon.
With the stress as bad as it was, all we could do was focus on milestones. We celebrated each day as we got a little bit closer to June 13th, knowing that every extra day in the womb would help Benjamin grow. But March and April were agonizing.
Once we reached May, our hopes were raised. We were halfway home (1.5 months early, instead of 3 when the contractions began). But there was one more battle to fight.
In mid-May, at a regular checkup, we found out that Marie had low amniotic fluid (4.5). This meant another hospital stay. But the next morning, after IV administration, it had improved dramatically (8). We got our hopes up again when they let us go home.
Once home, we made sure that Marie got plenty of water and rest. Her feet were literally swollen from all the fluids. But somehow it wasn't enough. We went back to the doctor on May 16th, and she had very little amniotic fluid. They would have to induce a month early.
To be continued...
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