#7: The sleep deprivation struggle is real.

Everyone jokes about the lack of sleep for new parents.  You've probably seen the meme below, only with a different picture.  I made my own using a funny cell snap of Benjamin, and since the meme generator offered the option of a "scumbag hat," I threw that on him for good measure.

But, jokes aside, it's a real problem.  Especially early on, when your child sleeps only a couple hours before screaming for another round of changing and feeding.  Every round is a battle of its own, and sometimes your baby will decide to be fussy all the way through until the next feeding time, rather than sleeping at all.  Yep, it's awesome!

And that's not all.  One or both parents have to:
- do the baby's laundry, while still keeping up with your own
- do the baby's dishes (bottles), while still keeping up with your own
- go shopping for baby items, while still keeping up with your own groceries and errands
- (mother only) pump and/or breastfeed, to either stockpile or provide milk

As the blog title says, I'm a stay-at-home dad.  I teach online biology classes for a local college, and do freelance photography.  We are blessed that I have that option - to at least earn income from home, rather than having to quit an office job or anything like that.  But even my current obligations are virtually impossible to manage when I'm home alone during the week.  

I basically get about 1-2 hours of productivity during the day while my wife is at work; the remainder of my time is spent tending to Benjamin.  As he grows and becomes more alert, I'm delighted to spend time talking to him and showing him books and toys.  Of course, the downside is that he wants more and more stimulation during the day, so I truly don't get any time for my vocations.  When she gets home (from the hospital operating room where she puts in an incredibly intense 8 hours every weekday), she tries to take care of him for a little while so I can get a bit more work done.  And on the weekend, I'm trying to slowly get back into photography.

The nighttime is the most taxing part.  Although he finally seems to be sleeping for longer stretches, the first couple months involved a guaranteed 2-3 "awakenings" during our attempts to rest.  

Every night, you have three choices:
1) Parent A tends to him for 1-2 consecutive feedings, staying outside the bedroom with the monitor, so Parent B can sleep without interruption, then crashes for a little while.
2) Same as option 1, but reversed.
3) Both parents try to sleep in the bedroom all night, so while neither has to stay up all night, neither one gets a solid stretch of sleep.

We often end up going back and forth.  Parent A is so dead that Parent B makes a sacrifice on Monday night...only to get so tired that Parent B is the one in need of rescue on Tuesday night.

Weekends are marginally better, because at least we don't have the ordeal of preparing him for transport twice a day.  I guess I forgot to mention that I take her to work - mostly because her only parking for the hospital is a long distance away, and the walk is through a bad part of town.  I simply can't, in good conscience, leave her to that dangerous trek each day.  We loathe putting Benjamin through the trips, but we don't have a choice.

In spite of all this, neither of us would EVER express regret to be going through this.  Life is very difficult with a newborn child, but if you're anything like us, your baby is so beautiful and important that you would do anything to make it all work.