#8: Everything I've learned (so far) about changing diapers

POSITIVES:

1) The complete process of a change, as long as there isn't a particularly bad mess (huge poop, huge pee, sticky wipe job), is much quicker and easier than I feared.  Until we had Benjamin, I had never changed a single diaper, or even practiced on a doll.  

2) Modern, plastic diapers make everything SO much better.  You don't have to wash them, they're easy to put on, and the main brands even have moisture indicators so you know without opening whether it's full of pee.  You do usually still have to check for poop, though.  

3) Baby poop and pee are not nearly as gross as you think...as long as it's YOUR baby.  I had always thought babies (with all their burping, puking, peeing and pooping) were a little disgusting.  Even the cutest ones.  Of course, now that I have little Benjamin, I love everything about him.  Even when he's at his worst with bodily functions, I feel nothing but sympathy and care for him.

4) You have a ton of options for products.  If name brand diapers (Huggies and Pampers, mostly) don't work for you, try cloth or the more natural brands like Honest or 7th Generation.  If standard wipes don't work for you, try natural brands or even gauze.  


NEGATIVES:

1) Meconium is gross, and so difficult to wipe.  Thankfully, it passes after the first few days.

2) In your baby's first couple months, the pee and poop are constant.  While you try to complete a change, you'll often have more leaking/spraying out, and you have to start all over again.

3) As babies grow, they gain control over their bladder and bowels.  This sounds like a positive, and in many ways it is.  You certainly want your baby to develop properly.  But as they learn to hold the pee in for a few hours, and the poop in for even longer than that, the results can be extremely problematic when the presents finally do arrive.  I'm talking pee-soaked clothes and bedding, and poop that squeezes out the top of the diaper in the back.  The liquid simply can't be contained.  I'm already feeling impatient for potty training.

4) They often yell for a change at a bad time.  And I don't just mean the obvious, inconvenient times when you're trying to eat or shower or get some work done.  I mean when it's a bad time for THEM.  Specifically, right after they eat.  Putting them on their backs right after a meal means guaranteed spit-up.  So sometimes you have to wait and keep burping them while they fuss, until you deem it safe to switch out the diaper.

5) As I've documented in a previous post, diaper rash can be SO difficult to treat.


SOME RECOMMENDATIONS:

1) For diaper rash, we've had some success with the following combination: moistened gauze instead of wipes, 7th Generation diapers, and Boudreaux's butt paste as a moisture barrier.

2) If you like to put your baby in a full-body onesie, like we do, do NOT get ones with buttons.  Trust me, fumbling with buttons during a screaming mess is not fun.  Get zippered onesies whenever you can.

3) Keep everything ready to go on your changing table.  Our ideal setup is like this...an underpad (the ones typically used for incontinence) on top of the changing pad (it's always best to have extra protection against messes)...moistened stack of gauze at the ready (substitute wipes if you use those)...diapers stacked neatly on the shelf beneath the changing pad, pre-opened if you really want to be prepared...gloves and butt paste within reach.  

#7: The sleep deprivation struggle is real.

Everyone jokes about the lack of sleep for new parents.  You've probably seen the meme below, only with a different picture.  I made my own using a funny cell snap of Benjamin, and since the meme generator offered the option of a "scumbag hat," I threw that on him for good measure.

But, jokes aside, it's a real problem.  Especially early on, when your child sleeps only a couple hours before screaming for another round of changing and feeding.  Every round is a battle of its own, and sometimes your baby will decide to be fussy all the way through until the next feeding time, rather than sleeping at all.  Yep, it's awesome!

And that's not all.  One or both parents have to:
- do the baby's laundry, while still keeping up with your own
- do the baby's dishes (bottles), while still keeping up with your own
- go shopping for baby items, while still keeping up with your own groceries and errands
- (mother only) pump and/or breastfeed, to either stockpile or provide milk

As the blog title says, I'm a stay-at-home dad.  I teach online biology classes for a local college, and do freelance photography.  We are blessed that I have that option - to at least earn income from home, rather than having to quit an office job or anything like that.  But even my current obligations are virtually impossible to manage when I'm home alone during the week.  

I basically get about 1-2 hours of productivity during the day while my wife is at work; the remainder of my time is spent tending to Benjamin.  As he grows and becomes more alert, I'm delighted to spend time talking to him and showing him books and toys.  Of course, the downside is that he wants more and more stimulation during the day, so I truly don't get any time for my vocations.  When she gets home (from the hospital operating room where she puts in an incredibly intense 8 hours every weekday), she tries to take care of him for a little while so I can get a bit more work done.  And on the weekend, I'm trying to slowly get back into photography.

The nighttime is the most taxing part.  Although he finally seems to be sleeping for longer stretches, the first couple months involved a guaranteed 2-3 "awakenings" during our attempts to rest.  

Every night, you have three choices:
1) Parent A tends to him for 1-2 consecutive feedings, staying outside the bedroom with the monitor, so Parent B can sleep without interruption, then crashes for a little while.
2) Same as option 1, but reversed.
3) Both parents try to sleep in the bedroom all night, so while neither has to stay up all night, neither one gets a solid stretch of sleep.

We often end up going back and forth.  Parent A is so dead that Parent B makes a sacrifice on Monday night...only to get so tired that Parent B is the one in need of rescue on Tuesday night.

Weekends are marginally better, because at least we don't have the ordeal of preparing him for transport twice a day.  I guess I forgot to mention that I take her to work - mostly because her only parking for the hospital is a long distance away, and the walk is through a bad part of town.  I simply can't, in good conscience, leave her to that dangerous trek each day.  We loathe putting Benjamin through the trips, but we don't have a choice.

In spite of all this, neither of us would EVER express regret to be going through this.  Life is very difficult with a newborn child, but if you're anything like us, your baby is so beautiful and important that you would do anything to make it all work.

#6 Shopping for clothes has never been more fun.

Life with a baby can get expensive, and it goes far beyond the medical costs.  Diapers, formula, wipes and so many other day-to-day needs.  Thankfully, family and friends can help defray a lot of the expense.

The one thing you really don't mind spending money on as new parents is clothing.  I don't know about you, but the only thing I like about clothes shopping for myself is that I'm meeting a need.  The actual process of selecting and trying things on is torture for me.  But it feels so different when you shop for a baby.  All you can think about is "jeez he'd/she'd look cute as hell in this."

In Benjamin's case, we've mostly stuck to zippered, full-body onesies.  He seems not to enjoy having his legs/feet exposed, so that's why we go with the full onesies.  And the zippers make it so much easier during changing time.  Buttons are terrible to try to fumble around with when you're in a hurry.

Here's a sampling of some of his cute outfits so far (and we have plenty more waiting on hangers for when he grows a bit more).  A lot of the items are from the well-known Carter's brand - we've been pleased with the quality (and cute factor) of their stuff.

The patch says, "I'M OUT OF THIS WORLD."

The script reads: "HUNK."

His arms are blocking the script, which reads, "Handsome."

The patch here says, "Sometimes Crabby, Always Cute."